When I was young, the person who lived next door to me was called Silly Billy. Silly Billy was incredibly silly. He liked making everybody laugh. I wanted to be like silly Billy and make everyone laugh, too. So I asked Silly Billy how to be like him and he told me to come to his special class.
Now, how did Silly Billy come to be known as Silly Billy? When he was little and just learning to talk, his favourite phrase was ‘dog cog.’ Nobody knew what he was talking about – just that he seemed barking mad and ever since he’s been Silly Billy.    
      Long pong, Judy Gudy, Mary Dary, Cat Pat – these are some of the phrases we learned at Silly Billy’s special class. You may have heard of Smartie Artie … he went to Silly Billy’s class last week.

 Knock, Knock. Who’s there? It’s me, Smartie. Smartie who? Smartie Farty … oops I mean Artie. (Not to worry, he’s my cousin.)
 Silly Billy asked Smartie Artie to go to the Millennium Dome. It looks pretty silly and Silly Billy wanted to get a good look at it.

Smartie Artie said 'yes.'                  

The pair took a bus to England and a tube to Greenwich and suddenly there it was… round, with poles sticking out of it. There was a McDonald’s right outside so that’s where they spent the whole day.

Then when it was time to go home, they gave the Dome a fong kong s’long and left. Then they took a very big breath and noticed that the Dome went flat. When they let their breath out, the Dome popped back up again. Smartie wanted to be silly again so he started juggling with meatballs instead of juggling balls. Billy was busily being silly. What a clown!
He started to do a magic trick. This magic trick involved a blanket.  He threw it over Smartie Artie’s head, saying, ‘Abracadabra, abracadoo, make this wish come true.’ Smartie Artie was gone. He lifted up the blanket and there was… Steady Eddie.

In all my 90 years, I’ve never seen anything like it.